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Funny News

 Classic Funny News Stories

-45 year-old Amy Brasher was arrested in San Antonio, Texas, after a mechanic reported to police that 18 packages of marijuana were packed in the engine compartment of the car which she had brought to the mechanic for an oil change. According to police, Brasher later said that she didn't realize that the mechanic would have to raise the hood to change the oil. 

 

-An ambulance was called to the aid of James Ritchie, thirty, who was lying injured on a road outside Odell, Illinois. As it arrived on the scene, the ambulance skidded on the snow-covered roadway, then struck and killed Ritchie.

 

-Junior New York City hedge fund trader Andrew Tong charged in October that his boss forced him to take female hormones to dampen his aggressiveness, which the supervisor said was leading him to make bad trades, according to a CNBC report. In his lawsuit against Mr. Ping Jiang (a big-time trader who reportedly earns $100 million a year) and employer SAC Capital (one of the biggest hedge fund names on Wall Street), Tong claimed further that he was harassed and even sexually attacked, and had started wearing dresses. [CNBC, 10-17-07; New York Post, 10-11-07] 

 

-In June, Ronald Barrett, 68, a longtime school administrator in Bucks County, Pa., was suspended after he punched a 15-year-old student who had touched his chest. Barrett said there had been a long-running problem of boys at the school engaging in "titty-twisting," and Barrett said, "I didn't want anyone touching my nipple." [Morning Call (Allentown), 7-7-07] 

 

-When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had

 

-CAPE CORAL, Fla. (AP) - A woman arrested for shoplifting has blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome, authorities said. Helen Gallo, 61, of Clearwater, was arrested Sunday after allegedly shoplifting from a Cape Coral grocery store, The Daily Breeze of Cape Coral reported. Gallo told the authorities she couldn’t wait in line due to irritable bowel syndrome. She’s being charged with petit larceny and was released Sunday from jail on a $500 bond. If she’s telling the truth about having IBS, why didn’t she just leave the items at the store?

 

-Drug-possession defendant Christopher Johns, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. Nonsense, said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five-minute recess to compose himself.

 

-A russian thief did not get far after he stole a car from a repair shop in southern Moscow without realising the car had no brakes. When the 24-year-old thief tried to get away with the broken Nissan Primera, he noticed the car had no brakes. After sailing trough a set of traffic lights he smashed into another car. A Moscow police spokesman said: "He told us he had seen mechanics do a paint job on the car and saw them leave the keys in the ignition so he decided to take his chance." "But what he didn't know was that the car was also getting new brakes fitted." The thief was arrested and charged with theft.

 

-A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

 

-R.C. Gaitlin, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked to use his I.D. for an example. Gaitlin gave them his driver's license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlin because information on the screen showed that Gaitlin was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri.